The Games People Play
by acristleo
Summary: Response to a challenge. Xander and Buffy are supposed to fight over naked Spike in Gone. My first fic.


"Good Godfrey Cambridge, Spike!" 

Xander looked at the scene in the kitchen and felt his irritation rise. He did not know why he felt so put out when he saw Buffy and Spike together lately. It was not as if anything was going on with them. Buffy would never give fangboy the time of day, or night as the case may be.

"Still trying to mack on Buffy? Wake up already. Never gonna happen! Only a complete loser would ever hook up with you. Well, unless she's a simpleton like Harmony, or a, or a nut sack like Drusilla…" 

__

Oh look, a patented Spike Smirk. This guy has got to get a new act. Does he really think all the looks, and the head tilt and the billowing coat make him sexy or something? I mean sure, there is a certain level of attractiveness there. The coat does hang nicely on his compact yet muscular body, but Buff would never-

Xander found himself being pushed out of his thoughts as well as the Summers' kitchen. _Time to play chauffeur_. Well, better than Anya and her endless prattling about their pending nuptials. He shook his head remembering her suggestion that they should have a cover charge to get into the reception. Xander's "proper etiquette" lecture led to their worst fight to date. For someone who did not like the sound of "that voice", she was sure using it a lot these days. So Xander had been happy to escape and drive Dawn to school.

Dawn busied herself changing the radio stations every 3.2 seconds. It was too much for Xander's fragile nerves so he turned it off, earning his very own Dawn the Pissed off Teenager glare. "So Dawnster, how's that arm?" Dawn deepened her scowl and threw in a roll of the eyes for good measure. "Come on Dawnie, I'm not the bad guy here. Hey, I'm not even semi-bad guy like Spike…"

"What do you know about Spike? All you do is make stupid cracks and ignore him. None of you really know him. If you just took the time and maybe paid some attention…"

Xander pulled the car to a stop in front of the school and reached over to touch Dawn's shoulder. She however was having none of it. Dawn pushed the door open and extracted herself from the car leaving Xander calling after her. "Hey Dawn I was just kidding, I love Spike!" Dawn was of course long gone, and he found himself feeling like a zoo exhibit with her classmates staring at him. He nodded at a couple of the jocks passing by. "Heh. Love is a strong word Tolerate - that's what I do. I tolerate Spike." The teenagers just rolled their eyes and headed toward the building to start their days.

Xander put the car in gear and congratulated himself on the way he was handling the women in his life. "Maybe I should just give it up and switch teams" he laughed out loud.

In typical Sunnydale fashion, Xander was having another not so typical day. His trouble with women had not disappeared by any stretch of the imagination, though apparently Buffy had. 

Xander had spent a good portion of his day either irritating, or being irritated with all of the women in his life. He argued with Anya over the wedding again. _Big surprise there_. He had accused his best friend of being at fault for the great disappearing Buffdini. _Can you say trust issues?_ Buffy herself seemed to be perfectly happy to remain out of sight, while he could not get her out of mind. They had just gotten her back and he was not ready to let her melt away into oblivion.

__

Where could she be? How do you find an invisible girl? He had checked all of the usual places, and no one had seen her. He laughed at the irony. Pretty soon he'd have to call out the search dogs to sniff her out.

SPIKE! _Eureka. If anyone could sniff the Slayer out it would be Spike._

Despite all of his comments to the contrary, Xander had developed a certain amount of respect for the Vampire during the time that Buffy was dead. He would not admit it, but he actually liked him. It was nice to have a guy around, even if he was of the undead variety.

Before Buffy's return, Xander had resigned himself to the fact that Spike did indeed love her. There was no way he would have stuck around and helped the gang so much if he hadn't. Still, seeing Spike with Buffy this morning stirred feelings in him that he could not understand. Anger being one, and if he didn't know better, jealousy being another. It made absolutely no sense. He had put the feelings he had once had for Buffy to rest a long time ago.

He found himself outside of Spike's crypt. No sign of Buffy yet.

"Spike?" Xander called out as he took in the chaos of the crypt. _Oh no. Where is he?_ Xander tried to keep his cool. _No need to panic_. The maid just took the day off. He hears a muffled sound and moves to check out the lower level. He was happy to have the lamplight. _Doesn't look to bad down here_. A soft moan sends another wave of terror through Xander. _What if he is really hurt?_

"Spike?" Xander took in the scene before him. "What are you doing?"

Spike stopped his ministrations and eyed Xander. 

"What am I ... What does it look like I'm doing, you nit? I'm exercising, aren't I?"

"Exercising. Naked. In bed_._"_ Naked… he is naked. Spike is naked in front of me_. Xander's mind played the thought again and again, while his eyes took in the view.

Spike stopped "exercising", and wrapped the sheet around his waist. 

"A man shouldn't use immortality as an excuse to let himself go." he sat down in front of Xander.

__

Can't be accused of that, Xander thought. He continued to take in as much as the sheet will allow. He had all but forgotten why he was there.

"Gotta keep fit for the killing." Spike continued.

"Yuh-huh. Looks like you had a little trouble upstairs. Mini-disaster area." Xander tried, a bit unsuccessfully, to hide his concern.

  
" So what, you just come here to criticize my housekeeping?" Spike said, oblivious to Xander's distress.

  
Spike's usual snarky demeanor put to rest any fears Xander had of him being hurt. It also snapped him back to reality. "No, uh, no. I'm looking for Buf-"

  
"Haven't seen her."

  
"Well, uh, you wouldn't. The fact is, she's come down with a slight case of invisibility."  


"Yeah? How did, uh..." Spike managed through Buffy's diversionary tactics.

"We don't know yet." Xander looked on as Spike acted even stranger than usual.

"Anyway, she's not at the house, and I really, really need to find her."

  
" Uh, tell you what, I'll ... take a peek around first chance I get... and if we bump into each other, I'll clue her that you're on the lookout."

  
"After your ... exercises."

  
"Yeah, right." Xander turned to go but hesitates. "You know, kidding aside, Spike ... you really should get a girlfriend." He turned and left Spike to deal with an invisible and amorous Buffy. 

Xander was heading back to the Magic Shop, but changed his mind. He did not want to go back and spend the evening arguing about ancient wedding rituals. He thought that the others must have found Buffy by now. No way would she be irresponsible enough to stay away that long. He sat on the tombstone and considered his options.

__

Exercising. Naked. Spike exercising naked. That guy must be really lonely. Xander found himself traveling back to the crypt. Maybe he'd ask Spike to play a game of pool at the Bronze. He'd even splurge for wings and beer.

Xander walked back through the mess seeking the lower level again. When he had descended he found Spike still naked, sans sheet. Xander's mind suddenly became pylon pudding. 

Spike was still quite irritated with Buffy, and even more irritated with Xander for interrupting again. For her part, Buffy was perfectly happy to have Xander interrupt the lecture that Spike had been giving her. She remained quiet and laughed to herself at how Xander was completely oblivious to her presence. _If he would put two and two together… well wouldn't that be an interesting scene._

"Harris, I still haven't seen her. And what the bloody hell are you staring at?"

Xander tried to focus, or rather not to focus on the situation at hand. "Games!" He practically shouted, forcing himself to look Spike in the eye. "Uh, I wanted to see if you wanted to play games. Darts maybe, and that other one with the long sticks and the balls" Xander pleaded, snapping his fingers in Spike's direction.

"Pool?" Spike provided.

"Yes! Pool. Thank you. And uh beer and wings, on me. The Bronze. My treat. What do you say?" 

Spike looked at Xander, surprise clearly written on his face.

"Come on, we can be there in like sex minutes. SIX. Six minutes." Xander cursed his mouth for saying what his brain was thinking.

A smile broke out on Spike's face, followed by one of those patented smirks AND the head tilt. Xander was about to lose all control. Spike ran a hand over his chest, drawing Xander's attention to the muscular plain. Mmm chest of Spike.

"Why Xander Harris, are you propositioning me?" Spike toyed with the flustered man before him. He expected him to blush, to deny it, to run away. What happened instead shocked everyone in the room. Xander Harris, the great comfortador, closed the distance between them and kissed Spike.

Xander then heard his name exclaimed by two very distinct and shocked voices. One belonged to the vampire in front of him. The other belonged to the very woman who had caused him to come to the crypt in the first place. Xander turned toward the bed to face the other voice.

"Buffy, what are you doing here? I've been looking all over for you!"

"You've been KISSING Spike! What the hell are YOU doing Xander?"

"Well before that I was looking for you. I thought Spike might be able to help, but he was too busy with the exercising.." Xander stepped forward and reached for Buffy, he did not come into contact with the invisible clothes as he had earlier in the day.

"Buffy you're naked! What are you doing naked in Spike's crypt, with naked Spike? Oh my GOD! Xander motioned wildly, pointing at both of them. You and Spike were… exercising." Xander moved to take a seat on the bed.

"No no. We were not. No exercising. I just got here. Right Spike?"

"Whatever Slayer." Spike gave a disgusted look in her direction and went for the bottle on his dresser again.

"You and Spike? Since when? Have you been here all this time while we were trying to figure out how to prevent you from becoming a Slayer Slurpee?"

"There is no me, and Spike." Buffy insisted again.

"Whatever Buffy." Xander was growing equally disgusted with her.

"Xander you kissed him."

Xander looked at Spike and nodded his head. "Yep. I did."

"You are not even going to try to deny it?"

"Why would I? Look at him Buffy. He is very kissable."

"He is Spike."

Spike listened to the back and forth while getting dressed. He let them go on for a moment before clearing his throat. "Xander, what is going on?"

"Which part? The Slayer Slurpee, or the, uh, the kiss."

"Start with the Slurpee."

"Buff's gonna be a pile of goo if she does not get this thing reversed with a quickness." 

Before Xander could continue, Spike took the floor again. "Ok, now why did you kiss me?"

"Because I wanted to. Guess you can say I'm a complete loser."

Spike did not know what to say. He just stood and looked at him in a way that made Xander want to kiss him again.

Xander turned to the Buffy, "You should check in with Wills, see if she has this figured out yet. She was on to your mystery van earlier."

Buffy started looking for her invisible clothing, suddenly she was very interested in her situation. "Ok I'm gonna run home and find Willow. Spike… I'll come by later and we'll finish that thing ok?" 

"Don't bother." Spike said still looking at Xander.

"What?" Buffy asked in a small voice.

"Don't bother, I won't be here. I'm going to get in a game with Xander here. We're gonna grab some wings, and beer. We've got a lot to talk about." 

Even if they had been able to see her, neither of the men would have noticed the pissed off Slayer leave the crypt in a huff. They could not take their eyes off of each other.


End file.
